Our Story
July 16, 2022: We matched on Hinge
Julia: I had just started dating again after taking a year off to recover from top surgery. I was feeling nervous. Dating as a queer person was already tricky but then adding in the fact that I intentionally cut off my boobs made me fearful of how people would react. After a couple of duds, I matched with Kevin on the dating app Hinge and I started talking to him while getting ready with friends to go out after Rochester Pride. We bonded over our shared time at SCAD. He was nice and polite. I had no idea what I was about to get myself into!
Kevin: I had moved to Western New York for work 5 years earlier, and had made a nice friend group through my coworkers. Still, I was interested in meeting new people for dating and getting to know the area. I matched with Julia before going to see Shakespeare in Delaware Park’s production of As You Like It. What a coincidence that we both graduated SCAD the same year and never crossed paths. We found out that we had similar taste in horror movies and fantasy novels. Even with us each taking trips away to see family, we stayed in touch well. I could always count on Julia to be earnestly interested in how my day went, and I felt it right back.
September 8, 2022: First date
Julia: He was so late! Kevin let me know he was having some car troubles so I walked around downtown Buffalo talking with my friends on the phone for what felt like hours. Finally, he arrived and after a quick dinner, we went upstairs to the barcade to play arcade games. He was nice and polite and we seemed to have a lot in common. Afterwards we went for a walk and ended up at a second bar that was a lot of fun. It was the first time I had ever wanted to extend a first date for so long. Although at that time, there weren't any butterflies or love at first sight vibes. Whether we would end up dating or just stay friends, I knew I would love hanging out again.
Kevin: Quite flustered after the mechanic went longer than expected, Julia and I met up to go to the arcade bar that recently opened. Little did we know it was the first of many dates that I would run late to. Julia looked very cool with their pink hair, piercings and printed button up shirt. We talked a little over food, and got to know each other more as I got over my nerves. After getting humbled at Street Fighter, we went next door to a bar with neon clouds in the window and Garbage Pail Kid cards on the counter. We were able to joke with (and hear) each other more freely there, and found the fun in talking to each other. It was a slow start, but left me wanting to see her more.
October 1, 2022: First Kiss
Julia: We went on a couple more dates and I had started to feel like we were just going to be friends. Again, there were no dramatic signs of love but whenever I texted him to go check out animals at Petsmart or go see a movie, he was always down. At one point I think we even held hands. But I knew we needed to move forward a bit before we got locked into “just friends”. We kissed in the car before heading out to the woods to look for frogs. It was just the date I needed to know we were going to become a couple.
Kevin: Before Julia, I’ve had dates that were and weren’t interested in kissing on the first few dates. Since I was never good at telling when it's right, Julia was kind enough to tell me before a hiking date that we could have been kissing the whole time. Before the car ride over, I pulled her in for the kiss I wanted to give since we first matched. The nature hike was a great time, but that kiss stayed planted in my memory.
October 13, 2022: Started Dating
Julia: October 13th. Not a Friday, but a bit of an unlucky start nonetheless. Shortly after we made it official, my grandmother passed away. I remember it was the very first night that Kevin stayed over, just before Halloween. Kevin (who barely knew me) immediately went into support mode. We went to have breakfast at a small diner in town. It was such a humbling experience to have my world falling apart around me while everyone else in the diner just went about their morning as normal. Turns out I wasn’t the most important person in the world experiencing the worst loss known to mankind. But even still, Kevin was there through the whole process and we had some wonderful early dates. We were lucky to have started in October, the best month for spooky movies, haunted houses, and costume parties. I was able to have so much fun even though I was grieving. Kevin has always been really good at bringing me back to the good in the world.
Kevin: What started as a night of marathoning scary movies turned into a somber awakening. Julia was very close with their grandmother, and I wanted to console them for their loss. We didn’t want to do family introductions too soon so while Julia spent needed time with her family, I would plan fun things for us to do. I always made an effort to cheer Julia up, and they’ve always done the same back for me.
January 26, 2023: First Trip Together
Julia: This was my first trip with a romantic partner ever! It was totally serendipitous. I had to go to New Orleans for a library conference and it was also during Kevin’s birthday so it made sense to make it into a birthday trip. We had both never been before and we had a blast. Ghost tours, vampire cafes, burlesque shows. We did so many new things together. I think that early in relationships, people try out lots of new things to do together to see how the other person reacts to those situations. This trip made me realize that we could have a good time cuddling up at home or jetsetting around the country. We have since been on many trips together but this one will forever hold a special place in my heart. Plus I got a video at the burlesque show of Kevin that I can use for blackmail should he ever misbehave.
Kevin: One day Julia and I were talking about places we’ve always wanted to visit, and I mentioned New Orleans. Imagine my shock when there’s a library conference happening on my birthday and Julia could take me as a plus one. Walking around New Orleans with the love of my life was everything I could hope for and more. Whether it was a haunted walking tour or burlesque show, it was that much better to experience it together. The food and music was amazing, but not as amazing as Julia for helping make it all happen.
Four Years of Dating
Julia: I can’t believe we have been together so long. I used to be a notorious serial dater in my prime and usually moved on after a couple of months. I often joke that it is shared trauma that keeps us together but I know that’s not true. Kevin has been there through all of the pain of losing my grandmother, my mom, my job, my car, and braved the uncertain future with me. And even through all of that, every adventure we have gets filed into the “Best Day Ever” folder. Never once has he wavered in his love and support and it has made me feel braver and more sure of myself. Whenever I think of the future, Kevin is always right beside me.
Kevin: The person who started as a great movie buddy has turned into the person I want to plan romantic activities together with. I’ve loved it all: visiting light houses, museum dates, attending friends’ weddings, concerts 3 hours away. Even when we got stranded in the cold waiting for an Uber after a New Years Eve dance party. I’ve always known I have the best person in the world to cuddle up and relax with. Everything goes easier when we’re around each other. We’re more productive and make a good team at social gatherings.
October 20, 2023: Moved to New Hampshire Together
Julia: Honestly, moving in together has probably been the biggest test in our relationship. We had been dating for about a year and it was just after my mom died. I had been looking for a new job in a new place and had finally landed one in New Hampshire. My entire support system had changed and I knew I needed something big to happen to get my life back on track. I asked Kevin if he wanted to come with me and he said yes. We had been spending a lot of time together but we were officially moving in together at the same time we were moving to New Hampshire. What a stressful nightmare that was! We ended up having to take multiple U-Haul trips just to get all of our stuff moved. But we survived it and we have only grown more in sync with each other since. And we know the next time we move, we’re getting a moving company!
Kevin: Moving from Western New York to New Hampshire was a big challenge for both of our big collections. We had a plan and hope, but not enough time. With us grieving the loss of Julia’s mother, it was hard to set time aside for each of us to pack our spaces. A lot had to be done on the day we had the moving truck, and it quickly turned into a two trip haul. We’re very grateful to the friends and family that helped lug two apartments worth of boxes and triple checked if we forgot anything.
April 8, 2024: Solar Eclipse
Julia: This was the moment that I really knew. We traveled to Stowe, Vermont to see the eclipse in totality at the Von Trapp Family Lodge. As we sat there in the field with a bunch of other science nerds, I realized how lucky I truly was to have Kevin in my life. Not just for lifting me up in the bad days but for the fun we had and the comfort we provided each other through the boring and mundane. As the moon fully crossed in front of the sun, we made vows to each other to love and respect each other until the end of our days. He and I were truly to stick this out to the end.
Kevin: We both were very excited that the full eclipse was passing so close to us. After researching parks and towns in the path, the Von Trapp Family Lodge stood out as the cutest little ski resort with the perfect view. We were not ready for how instant the entire sky dimmed in the totality of the eclipse. Overcome with emotion, we both confessed to wanting to spend the rest of our lives together. There’s no one else I’d rather share that magical moment with.
July 1, 2025: Got Engaged
Julia: I was returning home from a library conference and spent the night at his parent’s house on the way home. That evening, Sue and I talked about Kevin and I and if we were going to get engaged soon. She played it off so cool. Because the next day, as I’m walking into the apartment in three day old sweatpants, there is Kevin with pictures and flowers and a beautiful ring and a question. As a chronic overthinker, it was the easiest yes in my life. Now here we are, planning a wedding to start the next big adventure of our life together! I can’t wait to see what more is in store for us.
Kevin: Julia had sent some ideas of the Moss Agate engagement ring they had in mind months before I ordered it. Once I was certain of the size and style, I shared a picture of the order with both of our families. Coincidentally, we had planned a weekend in the summer where both of our families could meet and the ring came in the mail just before the trip. While the plan was to test how everyone got along over a BBQ, I knew I wouldn’t be able to pretend like I didn’t have the ring ready for the entire trip. As Julia was driving home from a library conference in Philadelphia, I was asking all of our pets permission to marry her. Everyone, except Kyleigh, our chihuahua, was very excited. I purchased the newest book by Julia’s favorite author and set it around some newly framed photos of us to surprise her when she got home. She walked in exhausted from the drive and eager to talk about the trip, but instead I stumbled to one knee and surprised her with a proposal. I think she’s forgiven me for sneaking that up on her (and our families for keeping it a secret). Who knows though!